May you find harmony between your soul and your life...
(from John O'Donohue's prayer For Belonging)
Here is a picture of our new/old lounge room. Anyone who knows our 'warm room' will recognise it. We've taken it with us where ever we've gone - like a snail carries her home on her back. (I love snails.) It's a room where there is no need for 'any mask of pretense or image' (words borrowed from the new home blessing I shared in the last post).
I have loved reconnecting with very dear old friends, and I have even had one new friend visit, and yet I feel a little off centre. Lonely, but not alone. I can't really pin down exactly what it is, but I know that I'm not quite right. I can't paint. I'm totally blocked. I couldn't even go to church last Sunday - because I just wanted to go back to my church in the country. I could fight these feelings but I sense I just need to sit with them. Sitting shiva with my grieving self. (Sitting shiva is a Jewish custom where you sit alongside someone who is grieving, possibly in silence.)
I have never reacted quite like this before. I wonder if it is the sudden and unexpected change. It is as though, in my hasty move, part of my soul is still on its journey here. Perhaps I just need to wait until it catches up.
Half of my family is still in the country. One of my sons will join us in a few days. And my husband in a few weeks. I know that will help.
Meanwhile my warm room will shelter my heart. My daily practises of prayer and journal writing will ground me. Silence will still me. My family, friends and pets will sit with me. I trust that soon my soul and my life will be in alignment and harmony will be restored.
Peace be within you my friends,